His favorite time of day has become the early hour of dawn … when the sky is just starting to turn into that really dark purplish navy blue. He looks at it, thinking this is the darkest blue he’s ever seen, it feels dark too … exactly like he feels inside.
Could it be true, that nature can express our own feelings for us? Can our thoughts and emotions be so strong they move out and consume the world around us? Can the universe and mother nature relate?? or is he just too desperate for the feeling? In all cases, he just feels one with the sky for now.
Really dark blue, he bets noone on the street can even notice it’s starting to gain color. He looks deeper, and there are even thing in there, little clouds they seem. Little black clouds of no defined shape, disturbing the uniformity of the blue around them, spoiling it, he can’t stand their shape, or how they move, and maybe what they stand for. And they’re increasing in numbers, this ultimate chaos in the sky is totally ruining it for him. Rather than enjoying the colors of nature, he’s searching for patches of this perfect dark blue amidst the darker clouds, the patches that he relates to … the patches that relate to him … the patches he can feel.
He gives up, they’re gone … they’re all gone … and this anarchy in the sky has taken over. He feels a little cold drop falling down his cheek. Is that a tear? it must be the cold breeze, his eyes has always been sensitive to extreme weather changes. Is he really like that? Is this the way he looks on the inside?
He looks up again, the blue just got bluer, and the black is taking blue tints itself, the clouds’ shapes more smooth and eyefriendly now as they take up the color that touched his soul minutes before. When the hell did it brighten up like that. He kept staring into the same point in the distance for the whole hour, while it’s slowly getting lighter and brighter, “i’m not blinking” but neither was the sky. he wants to see it, to notice its changing of colour while it’s happening … it’s changing infront of him but he just can’t see it … his eyes hurt, his tears are coming down stronger now… every few minutes he realizes it has changed ,,, he has been staring at it all along but couldn’t notice it changing … but it changed. i wanna catch the transient, is there one at all ….
Time goes on and he notices it’s now day. It IS blue, the shade everyone knows … not interesting anymore. But something within feels brighter … as if it brightened up with the brightening of the sky … slowly in unnoticeable steps … u just notice it’s there but can’t trace it coming … he wipes his tears off his face, takes a deep breath off the cool breeze outside … heads to bed … hoping he could still be that bright on the inside when he wakes up …
but it wasn’t to be.
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Music: Cold ~ No One