My Story (just to be fair)

I was writing through part 4 when it struck me… i’m portraying X to be the evil witch/bitch of all time and myself as the complete angel that’s was totally devoid of any mistakes or flaws… how rational is that … so i thought before i go into any further details of the 2 years that are left of the story i should write a chapter on how much of an asshole i’ve been as well. So here it goes:

I would be lying if i said I totally did nothing wrong throughout the first two years of us … but who doesn’t make mistakes, lose his temper, or do something stupid because of it. By nature, I’m a very impulsive person, and my anger is not something you want to face … some people go as far as call me aggressive. All i can say in my defense on that matter is that i can’t think of one thing wrong i did to her throughout this era that was not a reaction to her shitty ways.

The first thing ever was one day in college … she was totally treating me like crap in public … nezaam i talk to her she turns around and ignores and makes me go run after her (don’t ask me why i took this shit) … and when i finally caught up with her she kept talking like shit infront of everyone i know and don’t know … so i flipped… shouted like crazy and made a whole big scene … some people actually thought i was gonna physically attack her!!! for those of you who still don’t know me that well, I DON’T let any physical anger out on females… momken atalla3 3’elly f2ayy 7aaga bass i would never touch a girl.

Another demonic act of mine was actually inspired by this little piece of info about me that i just gave out… we were having this heated argument about her ways again and she just kept going… i stepped out of the car yelling something along the line of i won’t accept being talked to like that and slammed the door… the window was in pieces on the asphalt milliseconds later… (never thought i had the physical ability to ever do that!!!)

three and the most drastic thing i ever did (as if the first two were not enough to turn me into the devil himself) …was that i actually got physically involved with someone on a time of one of our numerous breaks! Most have the right to think of me as the worst guy ever for that … and i acknowledge that …
Thing is … i was out of the thing … and by far X was not the person who has ever provided any kind of emotional support or any feeling of compassion throughout the first two years of being in that hell of a so called relationship … so i just jumped into the first opportunity of anything that would make me feel good… that doesn’t still make it right … i know so spare me all the attacks … i do those to myself …

I don’t think getting with “A” was a mistake though although she gave me a hard time about it later … so i’m not gonna even consider including it here…

Those were the major 3 wrongdoings from my side…

In my defense however (if anyone is still interested) … The difference between me and her is that i admit the things i did wrong … and i work on myself so as not to repeat them … and i never did … my apologies are not just verbal crap you hear and regret ever believing … i’m a more of a “apologize by showing change” kind of guy … so nothing in the vicinity of any of this ever happened again … My anger has been worked on bigtime (my friends find me weird till now), and i am no longer that person by any means … sometimes now i feel like i shouldn’t have changed for her sake… but i think of that as stupid … i’m actually gaining alot in my life due to these things i’ve worked on in my own self… but i have to admit that when i started working on any of it, it was mainly for her sake, so i could be a better person and a better partner in my fantasy relationship …

I’m only happy because this is the only good thing i got out of the relationship so far …

if u still think of me as the devil … then you have every right to…

kov